You see, I’m not one of those people who worry about everything. Do you have people like that? The world is full of ‘em now. People walking around all day, worried about everything. Worried about the air, the water, the soil, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens, radon, and asbestos. Worried about saving endangered species. Lemme tell you about endangered species. Saving them is just one more arrogant human attempt to control nature. That’s what got us in trouble in the first place. Interfering with nature. Meddling. Doesn’t anybody understand that?And as far as endangered species are concerned, it’s a phoney issue. Over 90 percent of all the species that ever lived on this planet are gone. They’re extinct. We didn’t kill them; they just disappeared. That’s what species do: they appear, and they disappear. It’s nature’s way. Irrespective of our behaviour, species vanish at the rate of 25 a day. Let them go gracefully. Stop interfering. Leave nature alone. Haven’t we done enough damage?
We’re so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody’s going to save something now. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. And the supreme arrogance? Save the planet! Are these people kidding? Save the planet? We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven’t learned how to care for one another. We’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet?
I’m getting tired of that shit. I’m tired of fuckin’ Earth Day. I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this world is there aren’t enough bike paths. Tryin’ to make the world safe for their repulsive SUVs. Besides environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet anyway. Not really. Not in the abstract. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. That’s all. They’re worried that sometime in the future they might personally be inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me.
And by the way, there’s nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The planet is fine. The people are fucked! Compared with the people, the planet is doing great. It’s been here over four billion years. Did you ever think about that? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. And we’ve been here for what? A hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred versus 4.5 billion! And we have the nerve, the conceit to think that somehow we’re a threat? That somehow we’re going to put this beautiful little blue-green ball in jeopardy?
Believe me, this planet has put up with much worse than us. It’s been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, solar flares, sunspots, magnetic storms, pole reversals, planetary floods, worldwide fires, tidal waves, wind and water erosion, cosmic rays, ice ages, and hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets, asteroids, and meteors. And people think a few plastic bags and aluminium cans are going to make a difference?
The planet isn’t goin’ anywhere, folks. We are! We’re goin’ away. Pack your shit, we’re goin’ away. And we won’t leave much of a trace. Thank God for that. Nothing left. Maybe a little Styrofoam. The planet will be here, and we’ll be gone. Another failed mutation; another closed-end biological mistake.
The planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas. And it will heal itself, because that’s what planet does; it’s a self-correcting system. The air water and earth will recover and be renewed. And if plastic is not really degradable, well, most likely the planet will incorporate it into a new paradigm: The Earth Plus Plastic. Earth doesn’t share our prejudice against plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. She probably sees it as one of her many children.
In fact, it could be the reason the earth allowed us to be spawned in the first place; it wanted plastic and didn’t know how to make it. It needed us. That could be the answer to our age-old question: “Why are we here?” It’s because of plastic, assholes!
So two hours later, my fingers are tired. I didn’t know I had so much to say. Well I guess it’s a poetic notion, but it’s a start. And I can dream can’t I? No, folks, I don’t worry about the little things. Bees, trees, whales, snails. I don’t worry about them. I think we’re part of a much greater wisdom. Greater than we will ever understand. One higher order. Call it what you like. I call it The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, and it doesn’t judge. It just is. And so are we. For a little while. See ya.
